Discovering myself at MDP

I had the opportunity to be a part of an MDP program (with the youngsters) in our organisation conducted in Oct 2013.  This MDP program was held in a resort at the outskirts of Mumbai.

It was the 1st time I was away from home for a good period of 1 week. I wondered what it would be like and my prime thought was about how my kids were going to take it.  I was not worried about my elder fellows Nathan (10) and Joshua (6) but more about my teddy bear, mouse & monkey Mikhail (4).  You see he is mamma-chipku, never been away from me.  Cries loudly after 8:00 p.m. if I don't come home.  He would never go to sleep without me, even if it meant staying awake with me till 1:00 or 2:00 a.m.  I did not want to tell him about me leaving him for 1 week, so I asked my hubby to handle him.  This was an important time to truly discover myself as a person in a team.

Anyways the great day dawned and I packed my bags under the expert guidance of my husband who had been for 3 MDP's and was a pro by now.  He advised me on what to carry and what not to and personally oversaw what I would wear and how I could protect myself from the surroundings (and you thought guys don't bother..think again) which according to him was infested with mosquitoes and lizards (eeeewwww....).

I left early and reached office and we were one of the only groups in the MDP who like good children reached our venue very much on time.  Our program conductor and trainer Mr. CD (name confidential) greeted us and allocated us rooms as per his understanding (by just looking at us :-) ).  I was allocated a room with Aarti Surve (which turned around to be a very good experience in bonding, for Aarti in turn helped me during a very bad patch).  We were to report for our 1st briefing at 12:00 p.m.  The 1st briefing we were told what to expect and what not to do and how we would be spending our days at the farm. 

It is more than 4 months now and I remember not much of what happened hour by hour.  But I remember that on day 1 we were divided into groups.  Our group consisted of the outspoken Bhuvnesh Sharma, the argumentative lawyer  Vishal Lohire, the soft-spoken Hitesh Surati, the shy Savan Kumar, the backward and quiet Amey Daphtare, the NSE nightingale and quiet a child-woman Neha Madkeikar, the smart-brooding Manish Deo, and of course the talkative me...eight of us in all.

The eight of us @ MDP Karjat Oct 2013.

Other MDP participants

The MDP began with different sessions designed to address the needs and grooming requirements of tomorrow's managers.  These sessions were filled with activity and games.  I cannot re-count all the details of each day  as this blog would not be sufficient for that.  However, I have posted pictures of each event and shall keep this brief confined to the picture based activity, it brings to mind and those moments etched in our memory forever.

The first activity for all of us to understand what we were getting into, was passing the tyre.

Activity 1 : Passing the tyre.

Lesson :  This was an activity that required us to find a method and work quickly, by passing the tyre round our bodies.  We were to out to beat the other teams. Once the deflated rubber tyre was given to us, our hands were not to leave each others.  The only way to do it was to help the other person, it was not possible to do it without assistance from the other team mates.  I suggested the jive method of putting your partner in front of you to put the rubber around her / him.  This helped.  Our group got it right and beat the other teams for 3 of the 4 times.  We kept pushing and encouraging each other to support the person whose turn it was.  The most important lesson in this game was team work and encouragement.

2nd Activity : Tunnelling the ball, group activity.

Lesson :  This activity was the 1st activity where our points score began.  The strong team from this would evolve.  We had to complete to get the first place.  Our team already showed the competitive streak.  We had to get the method right.  It was finally decided after lot of debate that the best way to do it was to number each team members run position so that when the ball passed each tunnel/channel, it was carried forward flawlessly by the next pair of hands.  This game was an eye opener on the talent and skill and contribution of each member.  This was one game where everybody was shouting orders.  Till finally CD asked us to shut up and play the game.  This helped us as finally we were allowed to talk only after a certain point.  This was one game where my skill was thoroughly tested --- I had to keep quite!  :-)  Also after a few channels I was given the task to stop the ball and get it in the glass which was placed at ground level.  Needless to say this was a very delicate task and required one to be extremely calm (which I am not!!!)  and to steady a ball which was on the roll and make sure it did not fall, did not touch the other channels, did not go backwards!!!  However, I somehow did manage to place 3 goals successfully by pure prayers and resilience, somehow I survived this ordeal and our team was declared the winner of this round !

3rd Activity : Landmine game.

Lesson :  This game once again required a method, a plan and the cooperation and physical strength of all the team-members.  We had to move 7 pieces of rubber strips on the ground in the picture shown above from one point to the other point, without leaving hands and ensure all team members crossed the final line and that all landmine strips were safely outside the danger area.  We decided the above method, and walked forward in this manner, but moving the last rubber strip and passing it to the 1st person.  We practiced this game for about 20 mins and then were told to start again while we had almost reached the end :-(   Then for the next 30 mins we did 2 rounds without saying a word to each other, just holding and supporting each other, we moved along till the final check post and again our team was declared a winner.  We did this twice over and again our team displayed strength in working together and supporting and believing in  a method proposed.  A good lesson to learn.

4th Activity : 2 legged race with all team members tied to each other.

Lesson :  This is a classic game and doesn't require much imagination.  What it requires is coordinated effort of all team members as all our legs were tied to our next partner and we have to move in synchrony like a march band.  In our team we were just 2 women and the rest were all men, so the women were placed at the end and the men in the center.  We marched together counting aloud 1, 2 - 1 - 2  till we reached a synchrony.  CD was very proud with our presentation and team gusto.  We did it and we were proud of having achieved the same.   

5th Activity : Placing the 3 different balls on a pole.

Lesson :  The game just got tougher.  This was another surprise and impossible activity according to us.  This task was really very delicate and required each member of the team to give all the support he/she possibly could to make this task succeed as there were negative markings.  This task consisted of 8 members of the team being given ends of a long rope (each of unequal length).  All the ropes were tied to a ring and this ring was placed through a bamboo pole.  The task was to carry the ball that was placed in the center of the pole with the ring under it.  We had to lift the ring with the ball balanced on it without dropping the ball.  Each drop would cost us 500 hundred points.  Once the ring was lifted we had to balance the ball and carry it to the next territory and place it there without dropping it. We had to do this activity with 3 different materials of balls i.e. table tennis ball, a rubber ball and a plastic ball.  It was a herculean task, not made easy by the following.  All team members were giving orders and telling everyone what to do.  The territory was uneven, grass and mud and patchy and we had trees and shrubs in between.  We had to pass all this and do it.  Each member was a particular distance and had to hold the rope at their distance only, so when it came to placing the ball no one could see whether the ball was exactly being placed on top of the pole or not.  Somehow we survived this game through sheer strength and team work or rather the dedicated effort made by few individuals who went out of their way to save the game.  At the end of the game, however, there was no blame game, we laughed, and enjoyed and forgot about it and moved on.  That was the best part of our team.  By this time we were way ahead of the other teams in points score.  If we formed opinions or judgments about others, we kept it to ourselves, but moved along with the team scoring another victory.

6th Activity :  Making a pattern with hooks and rope and with blind-folded team members.

Lessons : The most important part of this game was the communication and the method in which one member of the team would instruct the other 7 players about what the activity was without giving direct orders.  You see the members of the team were blind-folded and given a steel hook.  They were told to stand in a circle and the place the hook into the ground.  Then they were to tie 2 strings of ropes around each of the hooks buried in the ground till a pattern emerged.  None of the team members could see each other or the hooks buried in the ground at what location.  They had to depend on the instruction of the single leader who was to give this unclear orders.  Work on hindsight if you must call it that.  We didn't finish the game on time and hence we lost out.  Lesson we learnt here was how important it is to have clear and direct communication and how often communication is not about what we heart but also about what we see.  This was the 1st game were we lost courage because of our defeat.

Rappelling : Mind blowing adventure.

Lesson :  On the Thursday of the program week, we went to this point called Kondane Caves, around 45 mins away from the resort.  This was a first time I had ever gone trekking up a mountain top. Considering the fact that I was extremely unfit ( I am currently a XXL size, from an M size 6 years back),  this was a huge challenge for me.  I was not sure I was up for it.  I had nightmares that I would be the only person left behind, or I would make an excuse or I would tell others please go ahead as I have a medical condition etc.  This looked stupid because CD and his teammates,  older than me by years scaled the mountains like youngsters.  I had my roommate Aarti with me, who seriously had a medical condition and she was also ready to scale the mountain.  Feeling ashamed I walked with her. Chetan, Hitesh and Hemang were along with us throughout, helping and guiding us.  As the time grew and the climb grew steeper, I thought I could  no longer go on. Then Chetan  said the most encouraging words to me which broke my mental lock.  He said, "Veena, only till your heart beat reaches a certain climax that you will feel the burden, once you cross that threshold you will no longer feel the burden again".  Saying this I put my trust in those words and forged ahead and truly, it did happen. After sometime I did not feel the burden and clawed and climbed without support just to test my physical limits. I was the last to reach on top.  But I had done it.  I made it.  No excuse. 

Ha ha, this was not the end of the activities for that day, a more worse fate awaited us.  Rappelling, being tied and lowered down the side of the mountain which is called rappelling.   But before that, CD put me to another task.  He told me to go up ahead and scale the higher part of the mountain where there was a ledge and a stream, with breathe taking beauty.  My companions followers, who were oh so concerned that this "aunty" might not make it, journeyed along with me.   Chetan, Sagar, Bhuvnesh, Hemang and CD climbed up this ledge and spent a good 1 hours enjoying the beauty of this place and clicking photographs.    We went back after 1 hour of relaxing and taking in the natural beauty of the place.

Then came our turn, but before that we had to coax 2 people who had the toughest time simply preparing  their mental state to trust the people and their equipment and get down.  I will never forget this part and the amount of words and coaxing it took to get them down.  When my turn came I simply put to practice what I was telling others and trusted the men and their equipment.  Did as I was instructed and kept walking backwards.  The rest of the team was shouting encouragement from below and telling me what to do and I just for once followed blindly what they were asking me.

I have posted this video at this link :    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202213038277474&set=vb.1535230112&type=2&theater

It is privately shared because of a conversation in the video which is not for public domain.  If you are interested please write to me and I shall make the link available on request. 

There were other activities like the Checkerboard and group activities which were indoors.  But the surprise came on the day we were to assess ourselves based on a few questions on what sort of person we are.   Somehow in all the activities I was always the odd one out and was getting pretty nervous of these worksheet based psychometric analysis which was beginning to psyche me.  There was this activity about Conflict management that we had to complete wherein we could be slotted into our mechanism of handling conflict and our dominant streak would surface.  The 5 categories were Competitive, Collaborative,  Compromising, Accommodating and Avoiding.

This was one activity which completely stunned me, because of the reaction of my team mates.  Half of them expected me to score the highest in the "competitive" category.  They were surprised when I told them I scored the highest in Collaborative.  This came as a surprise to CD too and I was giggling so much that I made Neha read my scores.  This was an eye-opener.  I remember CD's word ringing in my ears till today saying.  "for all the personality displays and the stance she adopts, she comes across as confrontational and competitive, ever throwing challenges at you.  However, I now understand that the questions she throws at you are not to upset you but to make you realize your deep fear and bring out what is facing you, because she wants you to collaborate with her in finding a solution".   He then went on to explain what situation he has seen me use this style of management.

8th Activity : Making a Tower with straws and pins.  We were given a bunch of thin straws (extremely flimsy) and steel pins to anchor the straws together to make a tower not less than 3 feet of height and with a strong base, that if thrown from a height would still stand firm on the base and not collapse. 

Lesson :  This game required a design.  By this time I was already demoralized and demotivated, with all that was happening and I was beginning to see myself very negatively, I thought I was not doing the right things etc and I wanted to keep my distance and not give feedback and all the negative emotions evolved and I felt I could not contribute.  This was the end of the story for me.  And this was where the team failed on this task.  This was mindset and this withdrawal held to a poor performance of our team, because I became self-centred.

Lessons from this MDP :

Outspoken, jovial and open book that I am, I went around mixing and talking to everyone.  I am not sure if others felt uncomfortable around me, or didn't like me for the way I was or am.  I opened myself without reserve to receive and find the person inside of others who was waiting to be discovered.  I wanted to seriously drop judgements and see the person inside.  Given the right opportunity people do open up and talk.  But for this they need to be reassured that you are not a threat to them and that your motives are genuine and not to put anyone down.  I was really out of place with a young crowd and felt like an aunty out there, but so many people made me feel so very comfortable and kept assuring me of their support.  How can I ever forget this experience.  I learnt a big lesson from MDP, it is not about who, how old or what you are.  It is about what and how you make the other person feel in your company..alive and free or uncomfortable. 

I was soul searching for a few weeks after MDP and all that happened and the words and feedback that CD kept giving time and again began to weigh heavily on me.  I began to think of myself as not appropriate for the role of a manager or a team leader and began to seriously doubt myself as good colleague or even a good human being.  6 months down the line I brush aside those memories and remember just one thing.  Not every body can be a manger, but the most important part is to find yourself and make the contribution that only you can make as a team member.  Nobody can take your place or find that unique blend of talent and characteristics it requires to support a team.  What is important is to be that team manager that makes your team feel special about themselves and their contribution and not to make them feel that they were not doing enough.  Anyone can contribute, you just need to bring out the best in them.  And the most difficult task is to find that one person who can bring out the best in them to make them aware that they are unique. It is their skill that can make or change the situation. Being this one person who can bring out the best in people is a true leader, manager and boss, even without a title.    Everyone wants to be loved and accepted in a team.   I may not go one to become a great manager out of MDP, but I want to be that person that helps others fulfil their true potential.

Until the next MDP in 2014 I am waiting to see what I do next ;-)