I recently found out something so true about Happiness. Usually when people post stuff onFacebook about some quotes and some sayings about happiness, we keep liking when agree to what is said.
One of my dearest friend put this quote on her status "The person who makes you the happiest is usually the same person who is capable of hurting you the most." I would have agreed to it had I not found out the hard way.
No one can make you happy or sad. Only you can be the reason for your own happiness. I recently met a priest who spoke to me for a long time about why people are happy or sad and then he added. You see you are trying to desperately fit into someone else's frame. If you do not accept who you are and are not comfortable with that reality, anyone can hold your happiness ransom! Let go..let people think what they want to. They are not you and no one can live your life for you.
Bloody Hell! He was 100% right. My every waking moment was spent in how to keep everyone around me happy, even if that meant shutting up and bursting inside and wanting to explain etc.etc. etc.
Really, the day I heard this, my entire focus changed. I realised with a renewed vision. I have to just be myself and love myself. People are ranting and hurting and shouting and calling names because they want so desperately to change things about themselves which they cannot so they get into a control mode! Like they do when they sit in front of a television. It is all in the mind you see, The mind is like a sponge, it absorbs everything that passes its senses. It grabs and holds on to it, cause its our survival instinct to learn from external stimuli. It is hard to train a hardwired brain into learn to cope and deal with stressors differently. And mostly the stressors are those very people who you hold very close and whose opinion matters.
While on this high, I saw people with a new light. I felt an interior calm that helped me be unruffled even when the harshest words were thrown at me. I simply smiled and thought "Wow! someone is so not every right with themselves! Hence the volcano" and actually braved a smile, which angered the opposite person even more.
Earlier I was a part of the feeling. One with my stressor. Whatever my stressor said or did was the opinion I subscribed too and felt involved with. It is time to put a brake on this.
You are a different alive person, separate from everyone else and you have your space, your individuality. People around you should know you for your individuality and what makes you different from others. Whether they want to accept it or not is not your problem. Because God did not create everyone alike. And he has not asked you to abandon who you are. He loves you because of who u are, faults and virtues included!
It's funny when you think about it. But this cannot be achieved with the support of a friend or counsellor who can help you unload and make you see things from a renewed perspective.
It is these moments in life when you really need someone to accept you and pull you out without making judgements or advising you about what to do and what not to. Just to listen!
You know you've tried it all and somehow the experience has built a reserve of emotions just waiting to burst at the slightest tremor.
Thanks to my Lord, my moment came..a God sent moment, when I bowed my head in prayer and took the firm resolve that I will not let anyone ever hold my happiness ransom! Ever!
I hope and pray you find your moment too! You will know when has arrived! Cheers!
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