I shall pass this way but once.....In Memoriam

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/NSE-employee-leaps-to-death-from-sixth-floor/articleshow/16067831.cms?

MUMBAI: A 35-year-old man employed with the National Stock Exchange (NSE) ended his life on Thursday after jumping off the lobby of his sixth floor office situated at Kohinoor Tower in Kurla (west).

On August 30, 2012.. good friend Cyril D'souza passed away.  Cyril joined NSE a little after us in 1997 when the clearing house was handling the heaviest load of bad deliveries. We are called the FFLS team (fake forged lost stolen shares) team.  There was Raj, Cyril, Dhiraj, Pratibha, Shekhar, Shiv Kumar, Hari, Framroze, Guruswamy, Jayaram, Sameer, Vinod, Mabel, Veronica, Simone, Urmilla and of course me.   From the time we knew him, Cyril was a cheerful person and was always cracking jokes or hitting us with his one-liners.  Mable and I used to love to talk to him because of our manglorean konkani that we manggies enjoy.  Times changed...Clearing house came to a close...but Cyril was the last one to leave Clearing House in Kamala Mills.  Later he moved to Exchange Plaza and we lost touch...we met up occasionally...but the wit and the humour was always there.  

I happened to see him after a long time and was shocked to see an emancipated Cyril..when he told me about his IBS....I feel guilty for not really going out of my way to help him or to understand what was affecting him.  I feel even worse when I know that 2 people suffering from the same problem where cured because of the advice of a particular specialist, and I had advised Cyril to go to him.   But all I did was advise.  I never took the time to understand his problem.  

How often we take for granted people, things and opportunities that come our way...never once do we think that this maybe our last chance. At his funeral service the priest read out a quote " I shall pass this way but once;any good therefore that I can do,or any kindness that I can show- let me not defer nor neglect it,for I shall not pass this way again".  I couldn't be hit harder by those words.  

Many a times when we see someone fallen  and in need of help, we just pass by mindful of where need to reach.  Someone, somewhere out there needs someone to wait and to listen and to share, to open up, all those bottled up feelings...someone with whom ...they have no fear or failure or rejection at being seen as themselves...weak maybe fallen maybe broken and nearly "not the man"....  I know the feeling so many times when I think I must make the time when I see someone old and in need of help...someone hurt and in need of medical help....but perhaps what we will never see with our eyes or hear with our ears is the silent cry of a broken spirit in need of a gentle touch, a shoulder to lean on..this is not what catches the eye or grabs our attention...

Sometimes, I wonder what we were put on this earth to do...run to our daily chores...or help others and ourselves reach safe shores.  The rat race we live in today, put's so much stress on our daily lives.  It makes me worry about the present and future of my children and what kind of a world they will have to face.  The world will never be kind to anyone and I make a special mention of this to my children.  We have moved from a society dependent on intrinsic livelihood skills to a society clamoring for professional expertise and white collared jobs.   

This is not some factory, where you can fit people in ticky tacky boxes - a one size fits all, and have hordes of them churned out year after year waiting in queues for employment in some MNC.   People are always rushing....in every direction...not knowing what they are doing it, why they are doing it and the end result.   No time to stop and care or share...The competition is so intense.....I am glad I am not making my children believe that they are part of this rat race.... I have given them wings to follow their dreams... and to choose a live and chase their passion....it could be anything from cars to carpentry to simply helping out at an NGO!    Money will come an go,  there will be ups and down and pressure situations..all will come and go... but a chance to live your life to the fullest may not away be there! 

Cyril on the other hand was carefree individual, though a very cautious person. He went to great lengths to take care of his health.   One can never judge the thin line he may have been walking, and what tipped him over.  What about the family and responsibilities he left behind, one may say, that was not an easy decision for him too maybe.  But, if only he had that consolation of a friend to lean on....things may have been different.  Often enough, people with real problems never seek professional help.  

Sometimes I feel like had there been a time warp where we can see the events of the future in the present, we would know the trigger, then maybe we could stop them.  But then, every event of the future is the choice you make today, hence the future too, is not certain.  One step is all it takes!

In Memoriam of our dear departed Cyril D'Souza

veena_warrens_blog: Here comes...Anna Hazare...corruption will be swept out of the door.

veena_warrens_blog: Here comes...Anna Hazare...corruption will be swept out of the door.

Here comes...Anna Hazare...corruption will be swept out of the door.

If the month of August 2011, was anything to go by, it was one of the toughest months of my life..  It actually put me to the test!  The NSE website was launched a few days ago and all hell broke loose, fire fighting was a small word to put it.  I was battling the raging bull.  Talking of battling the bulls, this month saw a 74 year old man (not in the least frail) lock horns with the Government on the issue of corruption.  The timing could not have been more right.  What with skeletons tumbling out of the UPA's closet and the PM choosing all the more to keep mum (I believe.. he thinks his work speaks volumes for him).. O.k. so then what have we here!  The whole nation geared up at Delhi's Ramlila grounds, and people thronging to show their support for him.  Everyday people and children shouting "Anna" and wearing the symbolic Nehru cap...however this time it was the "I am Anna Hazare", rallies in every corner of India...in summation, it was the voice of the common man echoing from everywhere corner of India, that there has to be a stop to this corruption.  In part it was the frustration of rising prices of commodities and every day needs, shody services and failure of the government to rein in its bureaucracy as a whole.

Warren too was caught up with this frenzy and I had to bear the long news hours that he would watch leaving me no choice but to shoo away my kids from the computer.  As usual I don't look at the surface problems, I look at why somethings will work and why others won't.  The Lokpal bill as many rightly say will not end corruption.  Then what will.  Stronger laws and accountability?  In a country where lawyers are found more in the board room than they are in the courtroom, speaks volumes for our legal infrastructure.

Ask me and I am a firm believer that we Indians will never be able to rid ourselves of corruption.  450 years of fighting the British have made us a non-tolerant race.  We did not put with the tyranny of the British  Raj and today we are fighting the system we created.  We want rules, so that we can break them, but they are applicable for someone else.  Simple example, you are standing in the queue serious waiting your turn and some impatient jerk, comes up and side steps the queue, then another, then another...you'll burst out.  However, in a future scenario, you'll break the rule and expect others to "understand" your situation, because you have a valid reason for doing so.  So if you can't get away, you are prepared to "settle" the issue amicably.  Indian's world over are known for their impatience.  Our malls, roads and public transport system bear evidence to our impatience. And we think our interests assumes priority over others.  i9Hence the "ME" first attitude will not allow us to take second place.

WE cannot rid ourselves of corruption because as long as our moral and social consciousness is corrupted we will never be able to rid our system of corruption.  Corruption thrives because our convenience feeds it.  If we don't feed it, then someone else will.  This has resulted in a serious trap situation.  Who will be able to resolve this.  When we can jump traffic signals, bribe officials, pay in black for a service, or evade customs...we can do anything.  When we can bribe to find the "sex" of the baby so that we can abort "it" if it is not a girl child, then we can really do anything!  There will always be someone we can buy, because money more than "zameer" is valuable.  There is a saying that the "Pandu" is available for sale at Rs.20... may have gone up to 50 now because of inflation.

No rule, no law and no bill can clean corruption.  Corruption is in the mind and soul of a person, in a society that is dead in its conscious.  Everything we do is for a personal or political mileage. Corruption is not of some material or money, which can never be labeled such.  It is the act and the person indulging in it which is corrupt.  Corruption is the parasite which feeds of the dead body of our moral consciousness.

Jai Hind..long live the bureaucracy!

veena_warrens_blog: Being Green...I am not nuts...

veena_warrens_blog: Being Green...I am not nuts...

Being Green...I am not nuts...

Our Exchange recently started a new initiative on "going green".  It is now a corporate social responsbility for Corporates to protect and sustain the environment.  Whatever the other reasons, the main being that we should responsibily use the resources of which we are guardians.   As the group got formed and many people volunteered to be part of the group the enthusiasm caught on.  At first I didn't want to be a part of the group, for the pure reason that every committment demands time and I am one person who is short on time....what with home and work and the kids.. Warren ofcourse did not hesistate because this is a project that has always been close to his heart.  He had even won an award for the "Best suggestion" on a competition that was floated by the SWC to help the Exchange achieve their green goals.  Needless to say, he wanted this very badly....this was a test of how good he measured himself to be....Ofcourse the award just added a feather to his cap. 

Going forward...as I said the group was formed and projects decided upon...I was roped to help with the mailers and the creative stuff etc.   A Green evening was planned on 12-Nov-2010. Initially the team was looking for a host for the evening...eventually when things didn't work out...I volunteered.  Not wanting to associate, but having to be the hostess, I had to know what I was speaking about.  So I started looking up and reading what it meant being "green".  From there began a commitment to being green...that has challenged me to look inward about the way we live our lives and why is this "Being Green" suddenly assumed enormous proportions for the world and for every one...starting from Green Peace to various activists the world over.

Of the many reasons cited ....one of the prime reasons is "human activity"...in its various forms.  While we were deciding on the many initiatives that could help us make the world a greener place and take tiny steps to achieving that goal...I noticed many people scoffed at the idea of being green and the work we were doing.  Needless to say I guess many projects world over may have had their share of critics...Al Gore too had the same problem when he spoke about "Global Warming"... the US Congress thought he was nuts and blowing out of proporotions the threat of "Global Warming".

Something of the sort happened to us too....The first thing that we are still struggling with is breaking the myth that being green doesn't mean making a drastic change in your life style.  That you don't have to stop all that you are doing and go back to the caveman era. 

The problem of world is that we are so used to the luxury that has become part of our lives that shunning it is harakiri...

My favourite argument has always been against people who quote that one of the reasons of the problems of the world is the huge population.  The population of the world has only in the recent century crossed 6 billion.  For the earlier centuries this had never crossed 1 billion, despite the fact that people definitely had more than 2 children. However, those days were different.  People had to walk miles to reach anywhere....to get water one had to walk to the water sources.  In general people's lives were filled with laborious tasks and their was little time for luxury.

Look at ourselves today...we are not short of anything we want. We drive to wherever we want. We have water running from our taps 24X7.  We take a shower or soak in a tub full of water when we want to bathe. When we are sick we have healthcare that ensure that we are well again.  We have phones to communicate.  We have paper to write.  We have electricity for our homes. We have fuel for our cars and for our stoves. Everything at our doorstep...twice much the reason to waste and not to give a thought for those we are still struggling with these basic necessities.

Population rise is basically a reason for the better quality of life we have today.  Population rise was not possible earlier, because of disease outbreak and bad sanitation. How can we say that population is a problem...people have right to be born ...the earth has the first right to life...not the technology that we have unleashed on it today....sucking it dry for our needs. We should me more thankful for the things and luxuries we have today that were not a part of our ancestors lives.  They lived a strong, laborious and more fuller lives, toiling and struggling and forging things out of nothing.  Yet, in the 7000 to 8000 years, the earth has never been threatened like it is today.  If we are more careful in the way we live today...we can ensure that the world has enough for everyone's needs and not merely to satisfy the greed.  According to me, the real reason of the worlds disaster is "luxury" which is the new mantra and not "hard work" which the human body was built for!  Ever wonder why those who toil by the sweat of their brow and the labour of their bare hands last more seasons that the one who has all luxury in his life?

All is not lost...if we can only make minor changes to our lives and ensure that we are responsible in the way we consume resources and truly feel that we are guardians of our planet ...then we can make a difference...else there is not other home in this entire galaxy that can satisfy our hunger when we have finished ravaging the earth...